10-things I learnt from the book “5 simple steps to take your Marriage from Good to great”

5 SIMPLE STEPS to transform your marriage from good to great, turbomind book summary
5 SIMPLE STEPS to transform your marriage from good to great, turbomind book summary

10-things I learnt from the book “5 simple steps to take your Marriage from Good to great

Terri L. Orbuch, Ph. D

 

 

Hi, welcome to another turbominds book summary of the week: “5 Simple Steps to take your marriage from good to Great”, by Terri L. Orbuch

This is another of my favorite books on relationships. Terri L. Orbuch is a famous family therapist and what she calls “The Love Coach”.

It’s a book full of simple and easy to use advice and exercises to take your relationships from good to great. I say relationship because even though the title is supposed to be for marry couples only, I realized the advice is good for any type of relationship you have.

This book is based on scientific research by one of the largest studies done on marriage couples, observing 373 couples from the time they just got married through two decades of their lives, up to the present.

After studying all of these couples and finding what the happy ones had in common, in addition to years of experience and talking personally to thousands of couples these are the finding she made.

At the end of the summary you can watch the video with 10 things I learnt from this book as well 10 actions you MUST take every day to have a great marriage.

 

 5-CHARACTERISTIC OF HAPPPY MARRIAGES

These are some of the characteristics of happy couples:

  1. They have Realistic expectations about marriage and about each other, therefore, they keep frustration levels low.
    They know what their spouse want and expect and what their spouse except of them too. Know what you expect your wife to behave and do and the same for her. Know what you expect about marriage and how it should develop in the future. Your spouse needs to know what’s in your head and heart in order to prevent frustration.

    O page 69 gives you the expectation exercise. Do this exercise and review it every year. The more you know about your wife expectations the less frustration tends to occur. This is one of the best exercises to reduce frustration and start enjoying your relationship again. The biggest problem for marry couples is frustration for not knowing what the other person wants and expects of the other person. The best way to prevent this is by communicating.

  1. Affective and encouraging affirmations to each other constantly and frequently. It consists of words, gestures and acts that show your spouse is noticed, appreciated, respected, loved or desired. Happy couples give affective affirmation on a regular basis.

    Interesting fact, a man needs positive affirmation more than a woman, why? Very simple, because a beautiful woman is tired of hearing nice things, good compliments, receiving smiles all the time, but not a man, very rarely. So very important for a woman to stay positive affirmations. Affective affirmations are more important for husbands than for wives. Affective affirmation symbolizes deep caring and attention.

  2. Support each other constantly through small actions. They are ready to support and help their spouses in any way possible.

  3. Communicate with each other and get to know each other worlds.

They feel surprised and entertained about each other, they keep getting to know each other.

Have found a way to deal with costly behaviors that we all have, the frustration, the divisions, the difference of opinions, the positives outweigh the negatives.

  1. They love to be with each other, they love to share their lives. They are great companions.

 

When you introduce realistic expectations, positive affirmation, appreciation and support, daily communication that get to know each other, new and exciting activities, you get a happy marriage.

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Here an interesting exercise Terri recommends to keep the flame alive. The problem with most couples is the frustration that keeps growing after everyday challenges and small things to be solved. It’s very easy to have those daily little things erode a relationship. She recommends this awesome exercise to keep the frustration low and the flame high.

ONE AWESOME DAILY EXERCIE TO KEEP THE FLAME ALIVE: The 10-Minute DreamTalk

 

The exercise consists of talking for 10 minutes with your partner. This is not a regular talk, is a DreamTalk.

What do I mean?

Its 10 minutes talking about important things for your partner.  In these 10 minutes you talk about your dreams, things you are excited about, proud of, things you want to do in your life. You also talk about your deepest values, your mission, what’s important.

This talk is not about complaining, or talking about laundry, or the things that didn’t get done today, or the daily stuff.

This talk is about creating an extraordinary life, and how to make it starting from today. That is basically the 10 minute dreamtalk.

Each partner talks for 10 minutes, or 5 minutes if you prefer. You let your partner talk without interrupting, without criticizing, and without blaming or complaining. You give your partner your full attention (no phones) and support. That is a DreamTalk.
This is a way to keep knowing your partner, keeping your relationship fresh.
You can talk about things you are grateful, excited, proud, some frustrations you might have from the past, achievements etc. This little activity is almost miraculous when practice daily.

There are four important areas to know about your partner: Friends, stressors, life dreams, and values.

 

Some excellent questions you can ask:

  1. What was an important turning point in your life? Why?

  2. What are you really excited about your life, why?

  3. What is the one thing you really want to accomplish in the next two years?

  4. What is really romantic to you?

  5. What are you most afraid of?

  6. In the last year what were you most proud of, why?

  7. Do you have any regrets in life, why?

THE LOVE DOCTORS 5- TIPS ON BEING A GREAT LISTENER
these are some of the most powerful ways to become a power listener, a great listener, a person people can talk to, open up, and feel great

  1. Paraphrase what you hear. Repeat what you hear with your own words. Give a chance for the other person to agree.

  2. Check out their feelings. Ask the other person for clarification about those feelings. Emotions can be misinterpreted. Ask your partner for specifics.

  3. Make what they are saying a priority. Stay away from distractions. Turn off your phone if necessary.

  4. Validate and respect your partners’ point of view. You don’t have to agree but allow your partner to have her or his own feelings.

  5. Listen with your entire body. Make eye contact, nod your head, turn toward your partner and lean forward.

  6. Practice ACTIVE LISTENING; use your body, your mind, your intuition and your full attention to the other person. Stop your inner thinking process and observe your partner. Relax your body and really try to listen without interrupting aloud or even inside your head. Ask for details and clarification.

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In this section Terri talks about the 10 most important myths about relationships and how they can make your marriage go sour. It’s important and beneficial to know about these myths that create frustration in your relationships and your life.

10 MYTHS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

  1. Opposites attract. Yes, it’s one of the biggest myths, opposites attract in the short term and for short relationships. On the other hand, similarities help you stay together for a long time, especially in key life values. Similarities keep people together.

  2. Women are more romantic than men. Actually men tend to be more romantic than women. How the researchers measurement this? Well, they are referring about a person general believes, about love, not about a specific person or behaviors.

    Researchers asked if they agree with these statements: true love can conquer any obstacle, true love can strike anytime, and there is one person that can inspire true love.

    They found that men are more likely to believe true love can conquer any obstacle. So many men fall in love with their wives way before their wives even notice them. Men tend to fall in love faster than women do.

  3. PERFECT RELATIONSHIP MEANS NO CONFLICT. This is a big no-no. Reality: lack of conflict means you are not dealing with things that matter. Great marriages know how to deal with conflicts and solve them, or at least being able to reach a common ground.  They know how to deal with conflict in a healthy, productive manner. Marriages have ups and downs, and having conflicts with your spouse not only is perfectly normal, but can lead to new discoveries

  4. Men ad Women are equally bothered by conflict.

    Women tend to be more bothered by conflict than their husbands. Women tend to analyze and overanalyze their relationships. Men tend to forget about their conflicts much faster than women do. Women tend to be angrier than men after unresolved disputes.

  5. If you are truly in love with your spouse Passion will never fade. Passion tends to fade over time. However, passion is replaced with a different type of love that is associated with marriage, longevity and happiness. Love itself doesn’t decrease.

    There are two types of love: love full of passion and love full of friendship, being the second one is the one that keeps marriages together over time.

    This second type is called compassionate love and its characterized by friendship, intimacy and commitment. This type increases over time, especially in couples over 15 years together. The friendship and support from their spouses increases. Happy couples tend to describe their spouse as “their best friend, my wife, my sister, my perfect companion” In happy marriages also there is great sex, even if the quantity goes down, the quality of the sex remains.

  6. Once trust is broken in a marriage, it can never be regained.

    Reality is that trust can be rebuilt, but it takes work and commitment on both spouses’ parts. Trust goes both ways, the more you trust your partner, the more your partner tends to trust you. There is no difference between the sexes.

  7. Having a child together will strengthen your marriage
    Reality, marital happiness tend to decrease when a child is born. Although a child is amazing and wonderful, a new child will create stress in your life. In most happy coupes, a child will bring them together in the long run. They tend to see the big picture.

  8. Jealously is a sign of Love and Caring. Reality: Jealously has more to do with insecurity than love. It usually has to do more with fear and low self esteem and not with the intensity of their love.

  9. Having separate lives keeps couple together for a long time. Reality: Interdependence is what keeps couples together. Interdependence means spouses’ lives are intertwined.

  10. To be happy you need to talk about challenges and problems often. Reality: People usually have low tolerance for talking often about problems.

A NO-NO FROM THE LOVE DOCTOR REGARDIG CONFLICTS IS:
Do not bring your conflicts into bed. Bed should be a place to have positive feelings associated with, not negative ones.

TIP FROM THE LOVE DOCTOR
Researches have found that the wife tend to be more amorous when they are in an unfamiliar setting, one without the kids and domestic remainders such as undone laundry or dirty dishes.

5-WAYS TO GET RID OF YOUR OLD GARBAGE
Old garbage either from past relationships or from your past is a great way to
create problems for your actual relationship. Get rid of your garbage. Here are some tips:

  1. Get rid of reminders, like photos, gifts, old furniture etc

  2. Purge your anger at someone or something. Try writing an angry  letter to someone and then throw it away.

  3. Don’t blame yourself; whatever ever happened in the past is the past.

  4. Don’t repeat the pattern. Be in the present, look at the current relationship and change your behavior.

  5. Ask for help.

10 COMPATILABILITY FACTORS
These are 10 compatilability factors for any couple:

1.  We willing to try new things that the other like
2.  Consider each other good friends
3.  Like each other family
4.  Like each other friends
5.  Each other have personal hygiene habits they can live with
6.  Share religious or political beliefs
7.  Similar in terms of wanting or not wanting kids
8.  Have similar spending habits, relationship with money
9.  Have intellectual compatibility, easy and fun and stimulating to talk to.
10.  Have physical compatibility, good kisser, good sex, or physical warm.

GET OUT OF RELATIONSHIP RUT!
Sometimes a marriage is great but with time it becomes too predictable. Couples enter the comfort zone, with very little variety; each other tend to be taken for granted. In other words, they enter a marriage rut.

Get out of the relationship rut as soon as possible or it will eat away your marriage.  Most of the happy couples in the study say they rarely or never feel as if they are in a rut.

Tomorrow morning slow down and take notice of what your spouse is wearing.  When you and your spouse take the time to slow down and appreciate each other amazing things happen. Slow down creates interest and combats boredom.

Causes of being in a rut

  1. Living parallel lives

  2. Lacking balance between rational and fun. Happy couples characterize their partners as being fun to be around, people they enjoy spending time with. Often after a while, marriages look for outside friends for fun and entertainment and to their souse for  security and stability.

  3. Taking each other for granted. They become predictable, and the other person expects he partner to do something and eventually take them for granted. They don’t check with their spouse to know how the other person is feeling

 

GET OUT OF THE RUT:

Knock your partner gently out of balance. Do surprising things that make married life less predictable. Every relationship, without exception, needs excitement.

Engage in new and exciting activities with your partner.

Propose something new

Behave differently; meet for lunch instead of dinner

Share roles, go for food shopping together.

Happy couples learn how to add mystery and novelty to their marriages to reignite the passion and sexuality. You can do it too.

Remember, PASSIONIS A FEELING. SEX IS A BEHAVIOR.

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WHERE DID THE PASSION GO IN MY MARRIAGE?

The declining of passionate love says nothing about your partner. Passion tends to decline in intensity and frequency over the life of a marriage.

Many people confuse passion with sex, they are not the same. Passionate love is a strong emotion not a physical act. It’s a powerful feeling that may include a powerful desire to be with your partner, and have sex, but passionate love in itself does not mean sex. They are connected but not the same.

Most of the happy marry couples when asked about their spouse say things like: she is my best friend; he is the perfect companion, etc.

Passionate love and companion love can happen together at the same time.

THE LOVE DOCTOR 6 WAYS TO REIGNITE THE PASSION IN A RELATIONSHIP
Here are 6 great ways to reignite the passion in a relationship.

  1. Engage in new activities. Novelty and excitement is the recipe to re-experience that original emotional state you had when you start going out.

  2. GET AWAY FROM IT ALL. Take a mini vacation the two of you, at least for one night and two days. Go somewhere that interest’s both of you, were you can create new memories and spend time together. Go somewhere exotic to reignite the passion.

  3. SEEK AROUSAL PRODUCING ACTIVITIES. Studies show that if you do activities that produce brain chemicals associated with arousal, this arousal tends to be transferred to your relationship. This arousal tends to get misattributed to your partner.

  4. GET REACQUAINTED AS FRIEDNS. Nurture a friendship with your spouse. When you learn new information and qualities about your partner it brings you together.

  5. TOUCH YOOUR PARTNER. Touching, holding hands, kissing, and hugging keep the romance live.

  6. FIND A NEW WAYS TO SAY THE THREE WORDS. Express the emotion of love in a different way. Let your spouse know that you are thinking of him or her.

  7. HAVE SEX. Having sex makes you want to have it more. So a great way to get going is by just doing it.

Dance is a an activity that can activate the passion, its fun, produces physical arousal, and tends to bring people together.

If you want to take your marriage from good to great, you need to have both love and sex. The quantity of sex is not as important as the quality. Happy couples find that while the quantity of sex can reduce, the quantity of sex can get even better, even more enjoyable that when they were first together.  There is a correlation between good sex and a great marriage.

TIP

Develop Sex Signals.
Some of the happy couples have their own secret or personal ways to tell each other they want to have sex. It can be a small gesture or a word, or even an outfit that is not evident to others but it’s to your partner. This can of secret language adds mystery and excitement to the relationship since your partner is the only one who understands this language.

The three key reasons why marriages don’t work out are: increase frustration, falling into a relationship rut, and loss of passion and sexual excitement. Small changes can reignite any marriage.

KEEP COST LOW AND BENEFITS HIGH

Researchers have develop a theory that people keep track of how much emotional currency they spend in a love  relationship compare with how much they earn or get back. So, in other words, we are constantly evaluating a love relationship, even if we do it subconsciously.

6 COSTLY BEHAVIORS IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP
these are behaviors we can do automatically without thinking too much about the consequences and which can destroy any marriage.

  1. You and your partner fight all the time. If you are going to fight, fight fair when you have disagreements. It’s ok to have some taboo topics that you agree to disagree. Set rules for fighting. Cool before you say too much. Control your anger. The most common taboo topics are religion, politics and family.

  2. You and your spouse can’t talk to each other anymore. It feels as if everything is misunderstood.

  3. You and your spouse don’t manage your household responsibilities fairly. Negotiate with your spouse a fair division of your responsibilities, its mandatory for a happy marriage. Men who do more house work have more sex, as shown in a recent

  4. You are worried that your partner might be attracted to other people.
    Build self confidence and share your concerns with your spouse.

  5. You keep secrets and withhold information to your partner. Develop and open communication and share your fear of sharing this information. Withholding information violates the expectation of trust and can be consider a betrayal. Sometimes when you discuss the fear of sharing the information, and be open about that, once that step has been handling, the information in itself is not so important.  Self disclosure in a relationship is usually reciprocal. There is nothing worse than lies in a relationship, mistakes can be handle but not lies.

  6. You don’t get along with your spouse family. Try to make an effort at least to smooth the relationship even if you decide not to be friends.

DOS AND DONTS FOR COMMUNICATING CLEARLY
Here are some tips to communicate what you want clearly.

  1. Stay focus on single issue. It works for emails too. Figure out the main message and say it clearly. Reduce the “alsos”

  2. Don’t engage in “kitchen sinking”, is when you bring up all the problems that have been accumulating over time.

  3. Validate your partners feeling. You acknowledge there is another point of view. Stay away from comments like “that is stupid”. Allow your partners to have and own his or her feelings.

  4. Keep conversation nonthreatening. Don’t engage in name calling. There are many ways to communicate your message with respect and emotional intelligence.

  5. Keep conversation specific. Stay away from statements like “always” and “never”. These general comments keep the other person in a box with no way out.

  6. Be direct and give the other persona chance to respond. Don’t assume you know your partner response. Give an opportunity to express what they think.

  7. Take responsibility for your feeling and actions using the word “I. Don’t put the blame on your partner for not understanding.

6 TIPS FOR FIGHTING FAIR
These are 6 great tips for fighting fair.

  1. It’s ok to get to bed mad. Better rest, sleep and talk over tomorrow when you have cooled off.

  2. Calm yourself with a break. It’s ok to walk away as long as you tell your partner you will get back vey soon to finish the discussion.

  3. Find the right time and situation. It’s very beneficial to pick the right time to deal with the hot button topics.

  4. Address specific behavior. Don’t attack the other person; just address the specific behavior that annoys you.

  5. Be prepare to do a compromise. Make sure you negotiate a win win solution having both of you to compromise.

  6. Apologize. Take time to apologize to each other even if you didn’t start the argument.

INTERESTING FACTS

Positive affective affirmations received by a husband is predictive of a happy marriage for him. Men crave positive every day affirmations more than women.

Sociologist Bradford Wilcox and Steven Nock found that wives ranked their husbands level of emotional engagement as more important than how much money they made.

Researchers found that men tend to kiss as a means to an end, to gain sexual favor or to reconcile a relationship. The can be happy to have sex without kissing. On the other hand, women kiss to ESTABLISH AND MONITOR THE STATUS OF THEIR RELTIONSHIP and to asses and periodically update the level of commitment by their partners. Woman tend to place more emphasis on kissing and most will not engage in sex without kissing.

After only 18 month married couples tend to dramatically reduce their passionate love by 50%. Being in love emoting tends to last between 18 and 24 months.  At the same time that passionate loves declines, compassionate love (friendship, intimacy, commitment) increases dramatically.

Women love to talk about their relationships with their spouses. The more they talk about their relationship with you, the more amorous and sexual they feel. Relationship talk is like an aphrodisiac for women, and without it they might feel distant from you.  Women are more relationship oriented than men.

Couples that have at least one meal together, breakfast, lunch or dinner were happier and more likely to stay together.

Laugher activates the release of dopamine in the brain, which reinforces pleasure seeking behaviors and influences happiness.

Just as men need enjoyable sex to feel happy, wives need emotional connection. They can get from sex, but they love to get it from intimate talk with their partners. Wives who report a high level of happiness over time feel a close emotional bond and connection with their spouse.

A woman tends to be the main provider of reassurance and intimacy for her husband, and this gives her enormous power. A woman is often amazed at how by saying and doing small simple things can make an enormous difference on how the husband feels about their marriage and about herself.

Intimacy is a feeling of close connection or a close bond. Men simply don’t receive as much of this essential from outside relationships as women do simply because the way they relate to other men. Women spend more of their same sex friendship time talking, sharing and giving positive feedback to each other.

Email communication tend to produce more connectedness and less stress on the part of the at home spouse than video or live communication according to research by Lieutenant Colonel Simon Pincus.


Researches have found that men tend to be more upset by sexual infidelity, while woman tend to be more upset about emotional infidelity-as when a man has a crush on a female friend.

Furthermore, men tend to finish a relationship more by sexual infidelity than women do.

Many marriages go through the U shape. Marital happiness is very high t the beginning of the marriage. Then after two or three years decline and continues to decline until 25 years of marriage, when it begins t increase again. Then after 35 years again reaches the highest even more than in the honey moon period. The decline of happiness doesn’t mean that they love each other less, but I many cases the responsibilities increase.

Women tend to build intimacy by talking one to another. Men tend to build by doing things.
According to the National Institute of Aging, when one spouse quits smoking or drinking, gets cholesterol screening or gets a flu shot, the other spouse is to follow suit.

In the marriage expectation exercise, researchers found that the two most important expectations people have are:
1. You should feel that your spouse would never hurt you or deceive you and
2.  You should listen carefully to each other’s point of view

Researches show there are three basic needs all people in relationships have
1. The need for reassurance of self worth.
2. The need for intimacy and closeness
3. The need for support.

The book: “365 Nights: A memoir of Intimacy”. A couple decided to reignite their marriage by having sex everyday for one full year, woao.  Another interesting book by another couple, “Just Do It”. This couple had sex for 101 continuous days. They both explained how the physical intimacy created more emotional intimacy also. “It required a daily kindness and forgiveness, and not being cranky or snarky, that I don’t think either of us had experience before

The 3 stages when the relationship with your spouse’s family can be more stressful are:
1. When they just got married
2. When couples have their first child
3. When an in-law or family member becomes seriously ill or needs to be taken care of.

10- Things I learn from the book

  1. The three key reasons why marriages don’t work out are: increase frustration, falling into a relationship rut, and loss of passion and sexual excitement. Small changes can easily reignite any marriage.

  2. Frustration is the leading cause of unhappy marriages. It’s not so much about money, infidelity, or one time huge events that break a marriage but as it is the daily little things and issues that erode a relationship. One of those things is unrealistic expectations about marriage and about their spouses. The easiest way to change this is to have realistic expectations, by talking to each other about what each other expects of marriage and of the other person.

  3. Happy couples have a really great time together. They laugh a lot, smile and play jokes with each other constantly. They just enjoy themselves. Happy couples love to spend time with each other, they tend to become each other’s best friends. In the happy couples the spouse described each other as interesting, fun. To keep your marriage happy bring new activities and things into it.

  4. One of the things present in almost every happy marriage is the presence of mutual support and assistance to each other. Happy spouses know they can count on each other for support and assistance, no matter what the issue is big or small. A relationship build on mutual support will overcome just about any obstacle. Support can be as simple as listening to your spouse when he or she is stressed out. In great marriages spouses ask each other for support and expect to be asked. The stronger the support the stronger the marital bond. The more support the spouse gets from the to her person the happier he or she tends to be.

  5. The happiest couples give constant positive affirmations to each other all the time. They appreciate each other, give encouragement and say nice things to their partners constantly. They keep their criticism low, specific and constructive.

  6. There are two types of support, instrumental support and emotional support. Instrumental is when the person is helping you solve a problems or situation. Emotional support is usually just to listen and empathize with the other person. This is the type of support most of the time women crave. When love to give instrumental support when most of the time a woman just wants you to listen to her. Ask your spouse, do you want practical advice or do you prefer I just listen to you?

  7. Happy couples DO NOT GET IN A RUT, and if they do they change: they learn how to add mystery and novelty to their marriages and reignite the passion and sexuality constantly.

  8. Happy couples they both have lots of love and lots of sex. The quantity is not as important as the quality.

  9. Happy couples tend to divide fairly their tasks and duties. They both negotiate and agree to those tasks. In most happy marriages men help at home. The more men help at home the more sex they tend to have.

  10. Happy couples TRUST each other. They are honest with each other. They hate lies and everything that comes close to that. They disclosure their issues.

10- Things you can do today to start take your relationship from good to GREAT.

 

  1. Sweat the small stuff. Contrary to public believe the most challenging times for marriages tend to bring them together, like bankruptcies, or death of a family member. On the other hand, small everyday obstacles and challenges is what erode a great relationship, unless you regularly communicate and solve those challenges. Make an effort to improve the everyday stuff. Pay attention to the little frictions, improve on them.

  2. Expect less, get more. The fewer unrealistic expectations you have about marriage the better. The biggest reason marriages fail is frustration, by having unrealistic expectations. Transform unrealistic expectation into realistic ones. Unrealistic expectations are usually based on myths. Share with each other your expectations for marriage and for the other person.

  3. Give incentives and rewards. Do simple things that keep your partner happy. Make your spouse feel value, loved and supported by simple acts and behaviors. Simple acts of kindness make a huge difference. Spend time with your spouse, have dinner, go for a walk, go on vacation far away from home. Give constant support and assistance. The most happy couples are the ones who offer constant support.

  4. Constantly reinforce your spouse giving affective and encouraging affirmation. Say nice things. Appreciate every little thing he or she does. Say thanks and feel thankful about those things. Give constant RECIPROCAL affective and encouraging affirmation. Things like: you are sexy, you are handsome, you are my favorite cook, you are so much fun, and you are the best dad/mom. MEN NEED THIS MORE THAN WOMEN DO. If you are a wife, make sure you give affective and empowering affirmation on a regular basis.

  5. Communicate, talk, share opinions regularly. Have drama free communication. Make a commitment to talk to your wife and share with her.
    Have the 10
    -minute power talk per day. What is a power talk? Is the one you talk about your life, your desires, your dreams and things you would like to do have etc. This talk is not about taking bout the kids, the things have to be done, or complaining. This is 10 minute daily DreamTalk with your spouse to get to know each other and your dreams. This is not relationship talk; you are not talking about your relationship. You are talking about your life, your dreams, your values, etc. This is a way to keep knowing your partner, keeping your relationship fresh.

    You can talk about things you are grateful, excited, proud, some frustrations you might have from the past, achievements etc. This little activity is almost miraculous when practice daily.

    There are four important areas to know about your partner: Friends, stressors, life dreams, and values.

  6. Implement change in order to beat boredom and keep your relationship fresh and exciting. Introduce mystery and novelty into the marriage. Most marriages arrived at a “happiness plateau”, which occurs for two reasons. One, falling in a relationship rut and second by letting passion and sexuality fade. Once a month do one or two activities than involve laughing and relaxing together.

Slowdown your busy life and appreciate your partner. Observe whether or she is wearing. Slow down and appreciate.

  1. Make an effort to get along with your partners family. You don’t have to be friends but at least get along with them.

  2. Focus on the positive, what’s already working. Increase positive experiences and decrease negative ones. Audit your relationship and behaviors often and the same with your spouse.

  3. Trust your partner. Happy couples trust their partners. Emotions tend to be reciprocal, when you trust your partner, he or she tends to trust you too. Be the first one who does it. There is no happy marriage without trust.

  4. Lighten up. Happy couples they laugh and joke all the time. They just have a good time. At the end of the day that’s what life is all about, right? About having a good time. Watch funny movies, go to comedies. Do activities that make you have a good time and make yu laugh. Play and joke with your partner.

turbomind book summary of the week by Miguel De La Fuente. You can reach Miguel at 00-507-62463797. Or by email at “migueldelafuene511(at)hotmail.com. Visit www.turbomind.com

 

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 10 things I learnt from the book “5 steps to take your marriage from good to great”
summary by Miguel De La Fuente

The 10 things i learn from the book 5 steps to take your marriage from good to great

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