HOW TO TAKE CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE, BY Richard Bandler
The user´s Guide to NLP
Hi, this week´s book is “How to Take Charge of Your Life”, by Richard Bandler with Alessio Roberti and Owen Fitzpatrick
This is not a summary. It’s more like a deep and practical essay from the book as well as some Neurolinguistics’ techniques.
Richard was the co-founder and co-creator of NeuroLinguistic Programming, as well as “Design Human Engineer” and “Neuro-hypnotic Patterning”
One of the main focus of Richard has been to help people achieve what he calls “personal freedom” which means being able to control your thoughts, your emotions, and create the feelings you want in your life.
Anyone who goes INSIDE their heads and make their life more miserable THAN it needs to be is an example of SOMEONE WHO CHAINS themselves to the BELIEF that life is suffering.
There are coaches, there are trainers, there are experts, and then, there is Richard. You can love him or hate him, but he is the master of what he does. He has trained some of the best coaches in the world.
Richard is one of the best in the world at curing phobias, and he does it, in most cases, in 20-minutes because he teaches people how to think about their fears in a new way. This whole book is about teaching people to think differently.
While most therapist try to look for the cause of the fear, phobia or obsession, to understand it, believing it would help solve them, Richard Bandler helps them do things differently in the present, by working with what’s going on INSIDE their minds.
Understanding the problem by itself doesn’t produce change. Any compulsion doesn’t function in the past; it functions in the present moment.
The main message of this extraordinary book is that You can learn to get over your problems, but it takes determination and commitment to do so. The number or people who, every year, give up on diets, on learning languages, on relationships, on businesses, on anything, is astronomical. You need to plan for difficulties, so when they appear you are prepared.
“Our BIGGEST LIMIT is not what we want and cannot do; it is what we have NEVER CONSIDER that we can do”
You can look at Life as the ADVENTURE it can be. Here are three awesome questions from Richard;
- How can I ENJOY myself MORE?
- How can I make this EASIER?
- How can I make this FUN?Maybe reality isn´t what you think it is, but WHAT you think becomes your reality.I love this idea by Richard, “IN THE ABSENCE OF HOPE, SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO CREATE IT”.There will be a time in your life when nothing seems to work, when you gave your best effort and you didn’t have the breakthrough. This will happen. That is not the time to give up.That is the time to become stronger, better and to build up HOPE. Hope is the strongest force in the universe.Unlock the chains of negative feelings and limiting beliefs and be free to create the life you want. A lot of times we destroy our present with our past. Believe is possible to create a BETTER future now. Think about what excites you.Ask yourself, What is the MOST USEFUL THING YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW?You can choose freedom, you can take charge of your life.
You can reach Richard at https://richardbandler.com/. They have some awesome seminars, training and workshops.
MY FAVORITE BOOKS ON MENTAL TRAINING AND MENTAL TOUGHNESS:
If you are looking for other exceptional books on mental training as well as mental toughness here are my favorites, the ones I have personally read:
Download Now my TotalSuccess App, Your Daily Medicine against being “average”, for my most important ideas about these exceptional books. This app will help you develop the ultimate vision for your life and steps to get there.
- How Champions think by Dr Bob Rotella
- The Champion´s Mind, by Jim Afremov
- With winning in Mind, by Lanny Bassham
- Chasing Excellence, by Ben Bergeron
- Mind Gym, by Gary Mack
- Tom Coughlin, by him
- No Limits, by Michael Phelps
- Relentless by Tim Grover
- Unbeatable Mind, by Mark Divine
- Get the Life You Want, by Richard Bandler.
- How to Take Charge of Your Life, by Richard Bandler
- Can´t Hurt Me, by David Goggins
- Make Your Bed, by Admiral William H- McRaven
- Be Obssesed or Be Average by Grant Cardone
- The 10X Rule, by Grant Cardone
- Discipline equals Freedom.
I keep updating this list regularly….
HERE ARE SOME IDEAS FROM THE BOOK…….
- THINKING:People have different ways of thinking, some useful, and others NOT so useful. The key is to learn how to think in a MORE useful way, a way that makes you happier and freer.As mentioned before, anyone who goes INSIDE their heads and make their life more miserable THAN it needs to be is an example of SOMEONE WHO CHAINS themselves to the BELIEF that life is suffering. Or someone who doesn’t know how to think better.The consequences of this NOT-useful way of thinking is that it creates great difficulties that manifest themselves in many ways, from depression, and all type of self-defeating behaviors.——————————
- Richard became one of the BEST at curing phobias by studying the most successful therapist at the time, like VIRGINIA SATIR, the ones that were truly successful at producing lasting change.Virginia was very skill while at the same time she was relentless and TENACIOUS, she wouldn’t stop UNTIL SHE HELPED HER CLIENTS.——————————-
- Traditional psychology focuses on why people have problems, on the other side NLP focuses on how people ACTUALLY CHANGE. He and his team have trained more than 200.000 people.Instead of focusing on the problem and its reasons, NLP focuses on how to solve it, by changing what you do inside your head. NLP is a system to communicate in a more effective way with yourself and others.Traditional psychology believes people’s problems come from the past, but in reality the problem exists in the present by what the person is doing inside their head in the NOW.———————-
- Most people create difficulties in their lives by HOW they think. Their beliefs are the ONES that prevent them from enjoying their lives and becoming their best. Their internal game is not optimized.
- PERSONAL FREEDOM:Personal freedom is a fascinating concept, one that Richard uses constantly. It´s about the ABILITY TO FEEL WHAT YOU WANT, so that the chains of fear, sadness and hate are BROKEN.
It´s about reducing and eliminating negativity inside your head and create the feeling YOU WANT.
Many people feel TRAPPED by the past, but, in reality they are not really trapped, THEY ARE JUST PRACTICING THE HABIT OF FEELING BAD.
What is fascinating is how people evaluate their situation. Many people have had bad experiences happened to them. This is part of being alive. So, INSTEAD OF BEING GLAD that the situation is NOT happening now, they go through it OVER AND OVER AND OVER in their heads, so that THEIR PRESENT IS DESTROYED BY THEIR PAST.
DON’T´ ALLOW YOUR PRESENT TO BE DESTROYED BY YOUR PAST.
You HAVE THE OPTION TO TAKE YOUR PAST AND BUILD A BETTER FUTURE, or take your past and LIMIT your future. It´s how you use your mind. It´s completely under your control.
So Richard focuses on HOW TO USE YOUR PAST AND LEARN FROM IT, but don´t suffer because of it. You can stop your past bad memories from affecting the present. Learn from the past and MOVE forward.
The BEST thing about the present is that it´s a GIFT. And the Best thing about the future is that is full of wonderful things coming.
The key is take the images in your mind that make you feel bad and MAKE THEM SMALL, BLACK AND WHITE, AWAY FROM YOU, and get rid of them. And take the images that make you feel good, that excite you and MAKE THEM BIGGER, BRING THEM CLOSER TO YOU, BRIGHTER AND MORE VIVID.
This technique could change how you feel about everything. Yes, you might think it´s too easy but it is very effective.
You can use this for everything from fears, traumas, passions, great memories, horrible memories and about everything. THIS TECHNIQUE IS THE EASIEST WAY TO CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT SOMETHING.
Your MIND IS ALWAYS MAKING IMAGES. IT´S THE WAY IT WORKS. IT MAKES IMAGES EVEN WHEN YOU DON’T REALIZE IT´S DOING IT.
People are often afraid to make jokes with someone who has been though a trauma, but getting this person to laugh at their problem is exactly what he needs. In order to see things from a different perspective you need to laugh about them first.
Some people run their horror movies over and over, no wonder they are afraid. They are making them afraid.
Tragic exits ONLY in the mind of the person who had it, and it does so as a terrible experience. A memory is just a REPRESENTATION of an experience.
WHEN YOU CHANGE HOW YOU REPRESENT AN EXPERIENCE, YOU CHANGE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THAT PARTICULAR EXPERIENCE.
- CREATING EMOTIONS:Feeling an emotions are not things you have but THINGS YOU DO.
This is a major distinction towards other brands of psychology.When people come to Richard and say, “I have depression”, he responds by saying, “Ok, give it to me, I take a look at it”.You don’t have depression or anxiety, YOU DO DEPRESSION OR ANXIETY. This is something you do, not something you have. You have to create specific images in your head, tell you specific things etc.
Happiness is an activity not a skill to master. The more you practice the better you get at it.When people dwell on things too much, they blow them out of proportion.
- BELIEFS:YOUR BELIEFS LIMIT OR EXPAND YOUR WORLD. They will help you create your reality.NO matter how impossible your odds are, OR SEEM TO BE, YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND A WAY. When you DEEPLY believe something is possible, and take the massive AMOUNTS OF ACTION, YOU CAN VIRTUALLY ACHIEVE ANYTHING you commit to.The BIGGEST obstacle for you to achieve amazing things are YOUR self-limiting beliefs. NO amount of action will help you achieve something when deep inside you not believe it´s possible.Start by designing your future; what of you want to create, do, achieve, experience and become in the next 3, 5 and 10 years. Write your ULTIMATE vision for your life.Believe that you can and will achieve what you want and you will allow yourself the opportunity to do it.Believe can override any obstacle. You NEED to develop the believe that you have the ability to BREAK OUT of your problems and live the life you want.From birth we have been program with all types of negative suggestions. Ideas like, “you are not smart enough” or “you are clumsy”. We have adopted other people´s believed about us.If a person believes they he will “never amount to anything”, why he should even try? If you believe you are successful, you will take the necessary action to become that way. This will increase the probabilities of becoming successful juts by the pressure of his own believe. It everything starts with the believe.What you believe about yourself, who you are, tends to become your own self-fulfilling prophecy.It acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So this is one of the MOST important ideas:BELIEVE IN YOURSELF AND YOU WILL BECOME YOUR BEST. You will achieve, you will take chances, you will grow and learn.The cycle is –BELIEFS-ACTIONS-RESULTS-BELIEFS-These are some great questions to CHALLENGE A BELIEF:How do you KNOW that´s TRUE?
2. Who said that?
3. Could they have been wrong?———————-
- CREATE THE LIFE YOU WANT:To create the life you want to have to make sure you are making CONTINUOUS progress. Your journey is always continuing. What you BECOME is more valuable than what you get. You have to always work on creating a better future.Losing 30 or 50 pounds is a poor goal. It´s the benefit that matters. You are after the benefit which at the end is changing how you will feel. FOCSU ON THE BENEFIT WHEN YOU WRITE GOALS.Instead of getting out of debt, think better as having all your bills paid before the end of the month and having financial freedom.How you word your goals is very important. Look FOR SOME SPECIFIC BENEFIT. Be clear on what you want and your brain will help you get there.
Focus on goals you can control or influence, and not one of your control.
Some Great questions:
- What do I need to do MORE of to reach my goal?
- What do I need to do LESS of to reach my goal?
- What do I need to STOP doing to reach my goal?
- What do I need to BEGIN doing to reach my goal?
Some other direction questions:
1. What do I want to change?
2. How can I change?
3. What would it be like when I change?
4. How can I build the life of my dreams?
- How can I enjoy myself?
- How can I make this easier?
- How can I make this FUN?
- How will you know WHEN you have achieved this?
- What is the MOST USEFUL THING YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW
- Think of someone who annoys you and makes you upset, or bad. Make the image in your mind and notice the sub-modalities, meaning, the size of the images, location, color, and other modalities about these images.Now, take this image, and if its colour, make it black and white. Make it really small. Reduce it in size. Now move it away in the distance, how do you feel now?The great news is that the quality of your mental images can be EASILY ALTERED. This will affect how you experience the images and your feeling about the situation.You can also take something that makes you feel great and make it bigger, with more color, bring it closer, and brighter. This will make the feeling EVEN better.You can always play with your images and alter how you feel about something. That is the beauty of these techniques. They are very easy to use.Whenever you think of something you make mental images and mental movies. You cannot avoid it, YOUR BRAIN WORKS LIKE THAT. Always creating images of everything.————————–
- YOUR MENTAL MOVIES:Run a memory in your mind or a bad or traumatic experience form the past.NOW run the movie backwards, add it a funny music or song, make it look like a cartoon. Imagine you are in the circus. Run it faster and faster. See how it feels. Do it for 7 times as fast as you can, with the music etc.(You can also do this with future goals or objectives for the future. Imagine the NEXT 6 months of your life ACHIEVING everything you want, add it a fun music, play with it, make it bigger, brighter, closer…)—————————–
- SQUARE:Imagine you are stepping on a square, this square is a particular color. Now change the color to one that represents confidence. You are stepping into confidence square. Make it bigger, brighter and bring it closer. Now feel yourself with confidence, your facial expressions, your body posture.————————-
- SELF-TALK:Instead of fighting with negative self-talk, OBSERVE it, observe the sub modalities, where is the voice coming from, inside your head, outside, how is that voice, strong, soft, what image represents that voice, color of the voice, tone….etc. You can change the message of the voice, make the voice in another circus tune, change into a positive message voice with an empowering message.The possibilities are unlimited.
Download Now my TotalSuccess App, Your Daily Medicine against being “average”… to help you stay away from an average life, with average habits, average results and an average experience. 15-Minutes per day will help you become the absolutely best you can become. You have a responsibility to honor pour potential. The biggest pain in life comes from not maximizing your Potential and doing what you know you were capable of doing, for you and others. You have been given the Most Extraordinary Gift; Your Life. Use it.
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